Yes, another blog.

I think I'll start with talking about a recurring dream that I have. Now, I am a vivid dreamer; I can't remember dreams, but I do know that when I'm in a dream, my entire reality becomes the dream; I can have a lifetime of memories in the dream, and I cannot tell what is real or fake. Yes, I live in a temporary alternative reality and I am not aware of the 'real' world. Bear that in mind. What am I dreaming of? I'm dreaming of this scene: I'm at Prometheus or Catena, having a fun night with friends, talking and well, as the dutch call it, 'borreling'. {A borrel, for all the non-Dutchies, is a social gathering of people together, and the idea is to just, well, chat.Usually with some drinks involved, but the purpose is not to get drunk but more to chat.} Afterwards, I am at my parents' place, playing with my dog Echo. I have the feeling that I am at home, at my place (and I have no realization of China). And then I fall asleep at my bed at my parents' place, for it is weekend.

At that moment, my alarm clock wakes me up, and as I open my eyes, and I see my Xiamen appartment, and hear my Chinese army song telling me to wake up(yes, it came with my phone), I realize how far away I am for the truth that I just left.

Heh, perhaps I am more homesick than I thought I was going to be? Or I guess I really miss my dog.... (sorry parents, but I miss you less because of the phone calls ^^; I have zero interaction with Echo, so if you read, please don't get this wrong) Well, it's not that I don't have good moments in China; I certainly do. Like going out with 1 good friend this weekend in Zhangzhou; real fun.

Nah, I think I am slowly starting to find more and more about myself. I can't change what's happened. But I wonder if it really was a good move for me to go abroad as a young child. I kinda got disconnected from reality and how things are. And I think I will blame my parents for not letting me do a teamsport or something where you don't work on your own. I mean; sure I might not be the best teamplayer. But if that's the reason to let me do individual sports and activities, then how on earth could you expect me to ever become one?! In Judo, I had great fun on the mat and the half hour before the match, chatting with the others who went. But that's no teamplaying. ~_~ But I guess that's one thing that can't be fixed anymore really. So if anyone reads this and is getting children: let them do a teamsport! I mean, as Randy Pausch put it, you don't put your children on football to make them pros. You put them on football to learn about what a team is like and what it's like in a group.

But okay, as I am going maybe too far into the dark so: on a brighter note, I shall move end of the month to an appartment in the building with the other dutch students. That should hopefully make my last month nicer. AND it seems that when this year ends, so does my internship. What's the first thing I wanna do? Well, there are some places in China I wanna see. But maybe I'll just go to Hong Kong, to kinda escape the mainland for a while. And get a new Chinese visa? Hmm, maybe. I guess it sounds kinda lame, and maybe not very efficient, but my business is over then. Perhaps being in a more english environment would warm my spirits up a bit.

Heh, an english evnironment that would warm my spirits up. That's what I need. And even though the temperature in Xiamen during the day is still above 20 degrees in NOVEMBER, I notice the cooling down. December will probably be very cold.... 10 degrees during the day... eek. As I am heading to Japan in January, there I will possibly be snow. And then it's back to NL. Thankfully, I have time in January. And as it turns out, I was able to book a return ticket from Macau to Singapore, for less than 100 euros with BAGGAGE :D. So.... an english environment that will warm my spirits up. And as Singapore is on the Equator, I can expect nice and warm tropical temperatures. High humidity... 30 degrees. Ah :D I'm looking forward already ^_^. 52 days to freedom. I am really counting down now... hehe